My name is Andrew Joyce and I write books for a living. Tracey has been kind enough to allow me a little space on her blog to promote my latest book, MOLLY LEE. It’s averaging 4.9 stars on Amazon. It is also available in paperback. Please check it out. Here’s the link: http://geni.us/molly
I would love to tell you all about it, but instead, I have to turn the writing duties over to my dog whose name is Danny. You see, he can be pretty insistent at times. We recently had some excitement in our lives and he can’t wait to tell you about it. For what it’s worth, this is a true story. And when you are finished reading it, please click on the link to my book and check it out. Danny is not the only genius in our household.
To run or not to run, that is the question. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them? . . . to paraphrase Billy Shakespeare.
Howdy folks. It’s me Danny the Dog, I live on a boat with my human, Andrew. Today, I’m here to speak about outrageous fortune and the outrageous fortune of which I speak is the insidious leash he makes me wear. I mean really, just because I’ve run away a few times, he thinks I can’t be trusted. I’m a big boy, I’m ten years old! I can go out catting around (excuse the expression) around at night and still make my way home all by myself.
So here’s my problem. He doesn’t use a regular leash like any sane person would. No, he’s gotta use a line from the boat . . . a twenty foot-long line, or rope to you landlubbers out there. It’s downright demeaning.
The other night we went to a local biker bar. Andrew doesn’t like going there because he’s a sissy and he thinks the bikers will beat him up, but I bring him anyway. I love the place because the biker girls always crowd around me and pet me and tell me how cute I am. I know that, but it’s always nice to hear, especially when it comes from women with multiple tattoos claiming they belong to Big Bear or Grunge or whomever. It makes me feel special.
So there we are, Andrew is sitting by himself—naturally, and I’m the star of the show with the females of the pack—naturally. Now, because Andrew does not trust me, he has me tied to a post (it’s an outdoor bar). It was then that it happened. One of the girls felt sorry for me and unclasped the leash. Well partners, I took off like a bat outta you-know-where, but I didn’t go far. I just wanted to teach Andrew a lesson.
I ran around to the back and hid under a small tool shed, and there I stayed. I watched Andrew walk around for hours calling my name. He passed within feet of me about a hundred times. After a few hours, I felt sorry for the guy and I let my presence be known by a single bark.
To cut the story short, I miscalculated. I thought if I made him look for me and then showed up on my own, he would forego the leash. But it didn’t work out that way. Now I find myself indoors 24/7, unless I’m taking Andrew for a walk, and then of course, I’m on the damn leash!
So, my friends, in conclusion, I’d like to quote another great writer, Robert Burns:
“The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men, often go astray.”
P.S. And by the way, I have my own Facebook page and it’s way cooler than Andrew’s. Here’s a link: http://geni.us/dannythedog